Lately I’ve been having some majoro weirdo dreams- one with Barack Obama(and family), in which I concluded that he was a decent human being(I had my doubts before), and last night about Michael Phelps. I was flirting ridicuously to get his autograph and he fell for it, hook line and sinker. Weird thing is, he wasn’t all that great of a conversionalist and the only question he asked me was about the weather. I’ve yet to dream about McCain/Palin but I can’t wait.

I’ve been in the hospital twice, emergency room 9-10 times over the past month had a bowel intesseption and whacky electrolytes that have stayed whacky. I’m now getting infusions three times a week of magnesium. My dizzyness problem has not gone away, I had to put it on hold because of the more emergent problems that popped up. My neurologist from Hopkins  got so worried about not hearing from me that he’s emailing me. Personally. (this guy is like EXTREMILY busy, on the top tier of the medical community) I had more bloodwork done, an EEG and I have to go see a cardiologist + have a tilt table test. I have missed alot of school from being so sick, I’m depressed and my diabetes care has gone south for the winter. (VERY uncontrolled) That makes my endo, pcp, and the nephrologist I’ve been seeing for the electrolytes extremily overjoyed. Sometimes I just feel like going into a diabetes coma and quitting the earth, all of my medical problems will get me there anyway whether I like it or not.

Feel like crud, wish I were dead. Maybe nature will complete that soon.That is all.

It’s come to my attention that I really need to get my will in order. My husband’s is, but mine isn’t because I’m so horrifically busy 100% of time time.

So, I called the neuro for the results. First he told me that there were no signs of MS. (never a good sign, if everything is good they tell you everything looks great and you can stop worrying) Then he says that the MRI showed (heart starts staccato-ing..) that I have a sinus infection.

Sinus infection? I had a cold about a month ago, which cleared up in two weeks. I don’t have any drainage, pain, or pressure. (a cough, sometimes)How could I have a sinus infection?

“You have a sinus infection,” he repeats, “and you need to take antibiotics 7-12 days and see if it clears up. If you’re still dizzy after that, we’ll repeat the spinal tap and see if anything has changed.”

Ok, will do. I’m not the one who reads MRI’s for a living, I guess the radiologist read it right. He is going on vacation next Thurs. for two weeks so I’m supposed to call back next Wed. (taking a Z-pack)

No, I don’t have three months to live..but I feel like my life is spinning off in weird directions, none of it any closer toward an actual solution.

This is really funny, its a Washington Times cartoon:

Presenting…Obamaman!

(and oh, so true. I want to vomit whenever I see him on tv(Mc Cain too, but he’s the better of the worst)

had MRI, now its wait a few days and see what that shows..

The procedure itself wasn’t that bad, I wasn’t aware that I’d be lying there, for a good 15 minutes. curled in a ball and wondering if that needle could possibly advance even further it already had, it seemed to be piercing my spine already. The contents of my back dripping, dripping, dripping into this little tube just like on “ER”. Brushed up against something and got 2 electric shocks down my right leg. The doctor withdrew the needle, put a band aid on it(I was hoping for something a little more dramatic, but it just looked like a pinprick). Consoled me to stay around for a couple of hours, to lie down to prevent a spinal headache. Told him I could stay one, I had to leave at 3:30pm. Which he took in stride, and said ok, just drink lots of CAFFEINATED fluids, etc, etc…(in direct opposition to every other doctor who has chided me for my little caffeine addiction)The nurses looked askance and he said it was ok, lying down for 6 hours hadn’t really been shown to reduce the chances of getting a headache + it was ok for me to leave early. Got wheeled to recovery/monitoring where I enjoyed lots of diet coke and got in trouble for trying to use the can. (“NO MOVING! YOU’LL GET A HEADACHE!”) I never got the headache, it was just a backache. Went and watched Narnia/went out to dinner that evening.

And then I started getting aches and pains. Honestly, every joint in my body seemed/seems to have simultaneously sprained. Maybe just bad luck, and maybe from the induction of a needle into my spine. Then I shaved, and my lymph nodes swelled up. (which is one reason I don’t do it that often, but I was starting to look like Neanderthal) You have to shave at least 4x a year, even if you don’t grow it all that fast. (which I fortunately don’t)

Today, the results. Increased protein, increased white blood cells. Normal on everything else. Blood levels of ESR slightly high. Wants another head MRI and if that’s normal, wants to do another spinal tap. Over. my. dead. body., I’m still sore from last week. Not sure where this is leading, but maybe a chronic sinus issue(according to him) which could account for the dizzyness, vertigo, headaches, etc…reassuring that its NOT MS or Lyme disease but still no answers.

I’m having a spinal tap this afternoon. It’s a procedure by which they stick a needle into your spine to suck out fluid and you scream as loud as you possibly can. One thing I wish people understood, everyone has a breaking point- it has nothing to do with being macho. GET the epidural, for goodness sakes. If your arm is ripped off in some freak accident, yes you will be crying/screaming/begging them to do something before you completely lose consciousness. (I’m an EMT, I know) So we’ll see how this goes, anything that they say can be a “little” painful almost certainly will be very painful. Only board certified neurologists and crazy interns in teaching hospitals(who don’t know what they’re doing, but they have to learn on somebody) can do them. Fortuantly for me, the individual performing mine is a neurologist, so I know he’s doing what he should. They are checking, for oligoclonal bands

(which means, Multiple Sclerosis)

or evidence of Lyme Disease, which lucky me had something that my primary care doc diagnosed as that 4 years ago(I took antibiotics, it cleared up, but it never was really confirmed as that)

I believe I want to scream already, but I need answers to my health problems.

I’m sitting here with my 1/3 lb Thickburger from Hardees + a cup of water..ready to dig this “new blog” thing.(great inspiration always follows a good meal) I’m not new to the world of blogging, but my other blog is very category specific + when people click posts on the blogroll, they probably don’t want to hear about the other parts of my life. I am a writer, music lover, poet, photographer, movie critic, fashion wannabe, political activist, hardcore tightwad… I love to travel, I want kids someday. I’m involved too heavily with the medical profession,on both sides of that stretcher. I love to eat, blog about food, and should really weigh 10 lbs less then I do. I want to talk about all these things + not have the universe know who I am.

So, that’s me in a nutshell-let’s rock ‘n roll!